I Am Easily Make Belive

so...all i have to say is im sorry. in oh so many ways. first off, sorry that i am so lame at blogging. i know i never update, and y'all are prolly really tired of chekin and seeing "he died instantly....the next day" so i am sorry about that. i know i have been pretty bad. i honestly am goin to try to do better. i know i have said that alot, but really this time. but my life really aint that exciting, so i just might have a ton of uber lame posts. but hey, thats me. hah

ok, one more apology and we'll get the the fun times with brady. but this is to alex. so i know that you have been goin through some hard times lately, and im sorry i have kinda been really distant and such, i just have been uber confused with a few things, and so i am sorry that i was not the nicest person of all time, and that you really are pretty much my best friend ever, and you know i would give the world to you if i could. so ya.

ok, now to the fun and exciting brady that we have all come to know and love. first, this is going to be a good month. sept 22, heroes and chuck. the 23rd, NCIS. that is very good news. and other than that, i dont really have much else to say. so....ill try to entertain you for awhile longer.

oh, so funny story. i went to higland to visit jon, kev, and meet the mystery sydney. so i was wearing my awsome purple shirt and driving murphy, for those who dont know murphy, my little tiny honda motorcycle thing. lemme tell ya, all the dudes who think they are just too cool for school and that everyone is beneath them and such, they just were havin the time of their lives yellin at me, sayin "hey faggot", "im not gay!" and things like that. if i hadent been waiting for kevin, i can assure you i would have gone up to them and given them a little talk....haha. i used to be super sensitive like that, and shy. but now, i would have no problem at all goin up and havin a little fun with them, but anywho. thats for another day. haha.

uhm....i am obsessed with a new song, that i used to not like to much, cuz it was kinda slow, and weird. but a few days ago, it randomly got stuck in my head and i went to listen to it, and BAM! im obsessed. its by sufjan stevens, and its called "John Wayne Gacy Jr". if ya didnt know, John wayne gacy jr is also known at the killer clown(because he dressed up as a clown and was an entertainer for awhile), and is a creep. he was a creepy serial killer who went after little boys....*shutter*. but although the song is like an account of the creep, its so so so incredible. omgoodnes i love it.

i have a plan

lemme tell you random things about you, many things you will know, many you may not.

i love folk and country music. anthony, i am glad you have discovered gary jules, i love the man. my fave song of his is called "witchita" and i love it dearly.
BMW>The world
i have alot of moles
when i was little, i wanted to be a bumblebee
i do NOT want to be a bumblebee anymore
i wanna be chuck norris.
i am already kinda bored of this game.

to be continued.

ok, so if any of you want to see my nephew, who just happens to be the cutest little guy of all time, click on here or on the April*Danny*Mason link under my friends. oh my goodness, so cute!!

so more on my life. so i think before my mish, i might work up at solitude! i am quite excited, i have my interview in a week, and well....i think ill get it, cuz they replied to me in like....10 hours or something. but i am excited.

crazy, that crazy happy song joce put on her blog? well, the same artist just came up on pandora, and wow, it is also really happy and good! i have never heard of them before....

Now playing: Belle & Sebastian - Wrapped Up In Books
via FoxyTunes

its good! anywho, i want this to be a long post, hence the ramblings. but right now, it feels really long, but i know that when i post it, i will be terribly disapointed. oh, i have a plan again!

so from now on, i am going to post at the end, one of the poems that i have written, and i want some feedback people!!

lets make a deal, the more feedback,
the more blog updates. sounds like a fair trade.

that will be fun, and it will help me write more. i really love writing poetry, its just so....calming, and stress realiving and such, and can help you express how your feeling. so dont even worry, some i have only shown to the person whom it was for, or i have shown it to no one. so that will be an adventrue.

you may be wondering, how i got to poetry from complaing about how short my blog is. well, i shall tell you. i was listening to a spill canvas song in alex's car tonight, and its a song we all know and love, because its spill canvas. (if you didnt know, i honestly belive spill canvas is by far the best band of all time, and they are absolutly incredible. i do not think that it is possible for me to love any band more). but its a song that has always made me think of jocelyn, and all that we have gone through. its called "all over you". it goes as follows:

yeah he's a looker but i really think it's guts that matter most
i displayed them for you
strung out about from coast to coast
i am easily make believe
just dress me up in what you want me to be
i'll take back what i've been saying
for quite some time now

i've gotta feel you in my bones again
i'm all over you
i'm not over you
i wanna taste you one more time again
i'm all over you.
i'm not over you

in my daydreams, in my sleep
infatuation turning into disease
you could cure me, see all you have to do now is please try
give it your best shot and try
all i'm asking for is love
but you never seem to have enough

i've gotta feel you in my bones again
i'm all over you
i'm not over you
i wanna taste you one more time again
i'm all over you
i'm not over you

this life is way too short to get caught up in all this stuff when i just want you to love me back
why can't you just love me back
why can't you just love me back
(why can't you, why can't you)
why can't you just love me back
(why can't you, why can't you)
why can't you just love me back
(why can't you, why can't you just love)

i've gotta feel you in my bones again
i'm all over you
i'm not over you
i wanna taste you one more time again
(just one more time)

this life is way too short to get caught up and all mixed up when i just want you to love me back
why cant you just love me back
why won't you just love me back
why can't you just love me back

and well....lets just say, that it fit how i felt almosts perfectly, especially when she got together with alec not even a week after she shut me down cuz she was so against high school relationships....so that song will forever make me thing of her. still, how did i get to poetry? well, i dunno, i was just thinkin of spill canvas, to that song, to joce, to a poem i wrote for her long long ago. it will be awkward, but i will post that one today.

next on the docket, me and the girlies. but first, another awsome song that came on pandora!!!

Now playing: Reality Addiction - Close To You
via FoxyTunes

for those who dont know reality addiction, change that. now. go to their myspace page. and listen to them. they are super incredible.

back on track. me and the ladies. do not exist. so from my last post i think, the random girl that i thought may like me and such, i take that all back. you see, i kinda thought that alexhad liked me, and i had recently stopped likin her for who knows why, and i was just uber confused on how i felt about her, and what i did or didnt want to happen, so i was just a little stirred up. anywho, im all good. but still confused. i dunno why im not crushin on her anymore, but i fell like i should for some reason. i dunno.

there really isnt anyone that i like, and it makes me sad, cuz i want to. i seriously just wanna find a whole new bunch of people to hang out with as to start anew with the ladies. not to say that i would abandon everyone, but y'all know what i mean.

so im sad i didnt go to magna. right now shipp and anton are fighing off the knarly wild beasts from magna. i cant imagine the epic-ness of it all. jealousy. but i had work, and such.

ok, well dunno what else to say, so i guess i will just have to stop delaying it, and justs post this poem. a forewarning. it seriously gives Kraft mac-n-cheese a run for its money in being "the cheesiest!!" cuz really guys, its so cheesey. welp, here it goes.

its called, "The Joy of Life"......as i said, its ALREADY uber cheesball.

he stays up late thinking about her smile
and the way she dances in the rain
she has so much to give,
yet he has little in return.
he wants to be her shoulder when she cries
and her joy in everything else.
she's just a dream come true,
and the joy of his life
nothing better could come
but this feeling returned,
in a quiet serenity not shown to the world
its not a feeling just felt
to be lost and ignored,
but should be shared with each other
and cherished forever

so there ya go. i guess ill post one more, to try and uncheese my blog.

this is what i think is my best one, i wrote it in 8th grade, called "If Time Stops"

what if time stops
and all that is, was
and will be
will stay that way
forever
no more broken
hearted children
or lost and shatterd dreams
no emotions to be had
of jealosy, love
hope, happiness and despair
no lives will be taken
nor new ones be made
all shall live on forever
in darkness and light
with no one to run to
they think all will end soon
for they are much mistaken
for all that was to be
will no longer live free

well there ya have it kiddies, until tommorow!
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Now playing: Tabitha's Secret - 3AM (Acoustic Remix)
via FoxyTunes